On finding a work/life balance

The last week has been so long and crazy, sad and difficult. It started earlier when my boss’ brother died very unexpectedly.
I have been here with them 24/7 since we found out. Other than my boss I am the most sleep deprived zombie-like person in the house. I gave up my bed to guests and have been sleeping on the 2year old’a bedroom floor except for one night when I got lucky and was able to sleep on the couch. I have not say down for a meal. I took my first shower of the week yesterday when I had my boyfriend come over to keep an eye on the kids for 20 minutes (the parents knew this, they know my boyfriend very well and like him a lot.) I haven’t had 15 minutes by myself since Tuesday. Everyday after waking up with the kids and being their main caretakers all day, after giving them baths and putting them to sleep I’d leave the two year old’a room to go help with funeral arrangements and pictures, music and just talking and crying till 1-2 every morning. And when two year old was back up at 6am it was me keeping him quiet and fed and entertained so all the other adults could get some sleep. I have reached the end of my rope.
I want you to know I am not complaining. I understand these things were everything I should do. It’s a terrible time and I love all of them. I am so happy to be able to help. But here it is Sunday and I am working from 7am to 5pm (a much shorter day albeit) but I am exhausted. I am ready to fall over. I need to sleep, a full night, in a real bed, preferably while having a real meal before. I am now sick, having picked something up from the two year old. My only point in this rant is that I need to get better about asserting myself. The mom asked me to work till 12 today and I said yes, but then I got a text after giving the kids breakfast asking me to stay till 5. I agreed when I should have said no. I am sorry, but I have to sleep. This week while she will move meetings later in the day and catch a nap here or there (she works from home, she also works very hard, but it does provide her more flexibility than my job,) I will be the one here by 7:15 every morning and getting the kids up and ready for school and keeping them entertained and trying to teach them things. I will not get to sleep in, tomorrow is Monday. But it’s my fault I need to be better about telling people what I need. When I fall apart I will be the one who caused it.
I am sure that all of this is known so well by so many moms and dads out there, and other nannies too for that matter. My only point is that we all need to be better about getting our needs met as well. The kids will live (obviously I mean kids of a certain age) if you as a parent desperately need that nap. Keeping yourself sane and healthy is as important and necessary for your kids well being as keeping them sane and healthy.


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